“Hate is baggage. Life’s too short to be pissed off all the time. It’s just not worth it.” That quote is taken from a movie called, “American History X:” a film about the transformative journey of two neo-Nazi brothers, when their rage-filled ideology fails them at every possible turn. It may seem odd to find common ground with characters like SoCal skinheads, but if you’ve ever struggled to overcome anger and bitterness then it’s not so hard.

The line about hate being “baggage” has stayed with me for nearly 20 years because I’ve spent much of my life learning to let go of anger. I had a lot of things take place in my childhood that I had the right to be angry about, but I never found that anger as an “end” helped me heal.

And when you’re a kid, anger is an “easy” emotion to leverage because it doesn’t require self-reflection or articulation. If you feel out of control, sad, lonely, or a host of other feelings, you can just get angry.

As an adult, I’ve found the world to be even more chaotic; and, to top it all off, my environment is conducive to rage.

Think about it–log onto a news site or social media outlet and you’ll soon discover just how much of what you consume is designed to make you feel outraged.

But even those online examples are a bit abstract. So let’s get practical.

How does one manage anger or bitterness when it’s more PERSONAL?

Think about a time when you’ve felt betrayed, transgressed, or even misrepresented…

Does it still make your blood boil?

Have you taken the time to dig deep and discover what you feel was taken from you?

Do you still think about the situation a lot or are you learning to let loose of the baggage?

I want to share 4 STEPS to help you overcome anger and bitterness so that you live free of your past, fears, or hatred in general:

1) Write a letter, read it, burn/bury it. Especially if someone has done you wrong, address a letter to them that you’ll NEVER send. Find a remote place to read it aloud, let the emotions flow, and then burn or bury the letter.

2) Pray for the person. This is a tough one, but there are good reasons why Jesus says, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matt. 5:44). FIRST, it forces you to see them as human, remembering that you also need forgiveness (more on this in Step 4). SECOND, it causes you to surrender your quest for justice to the God “who is righteous and loves justice” (Psalm 11).

3) Seek Counseling. If you feel you’ve tried everything, including the steps above, but you still can’t get over the hatred you feel–seek a counselor. Sometimes, it’s worth the investment to pay a professional who can help you navigate the deeper waters of the soul and sail through them to shore.

4) Ask for forgiveness. Wait, why would we ask for forgiveness if someone did US wrong? For this reason: it reminds you of your own humanness. By daily acknowledging your own sin and shortcomings, repenting (“turning from it”), and asking for forgiveness, you are remembering that you are human and have hurt people. You could also be the villain in someone’s story. It does you NO GOOD to simply imagine the person who angered you as a “monster” and not a human who also needs grace and mercy.

It’s no easy journey to overcome anger and bitterness. But if you want to live the good life; if you want to live in true freedom, you’re going to have to walk this road.

“Life’s too short to be pissed off all the time. It’s just not worth it.” Surrender your anger and discover the power of God in forgiveness.