When you’re a kid, everyone tells you to pursue the job of your dreams. No one prepares you, however, for what to do when your dreams don’t come true.

Or worse yet–when the job of your dreams becomes a nightmare.

What did YOU want to do when you “grew up?”

In my affluent, middle-upper class suburb, we were told the possibilities were endless. And we believed it. In many American homes and classrooms (elementary through university), the encouragement is ubiquitous:

“You can be/do anything you want!”

The phrase repeats itself like a federally approved statement written by Walt Disney, on par with “a dream is a wish your heart makes” or “always let your conscience be your guide.”

I wanted to be an NBA basketball player. And OK–that dream died early, on account of my height and below-average, mid-range jump shot. Also, I wasn’t a great ball-handler. Alright, let’s just move on.

The point is–it’s easy enough to jettison our idealistic childhood dreams when they don’t pan out. But how does one pivot or recover as an adult when a dream dies? What does the pathway forward (the path to hope) look like?

Maybe you’ve experienced it:

• You don’t get the promotion you’ve been working so hard to achieve
• You’re laid off from a job you loved
• The book you’re selling, product you’re promoting, or service you’re providing isn’t selling
• You don’t get casted, published, or noticed after years invested in the arts

The list could go on…

By my own recollection, I’ve had 3 vocational dreams die:

1. Full-time pastor
2. Professor of Theology
3. Senior Manager at a consulting firm

Each time it didn’t work out, I faced despair. And each time I had a choice to make: pivot and adapt or sink further into sadness.

Experts in “change” will tell you that every major change begins with an “end.” Then, there’s an ambiguous zone between the end and a new beginning. So, how do you navigate the ambiguous zone? How do you successfully pivot and adapt in order to embrace your new beginning?

FIRST, understand that your purpose transcends your job. Put another way, you are more than the work of your two hands.

The death of a vocational dream, though painful and fraught with challenges, is an opportunity to revisit your purpose and identity. If you’re facing an unwanted vocational transition, I recommend the following resources:

• Find Your WHY, Simon Sinek
• Orphan vs. Son chart, CS Lewis Institute
• Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl

SECOND, find a coach or a friend who can listen REALLY well. Leadership coaches are trained to let you process, actively listen, and help partner with you for practical solutions. Every time I’ve gone through a major transition, I’ve had either a counselor or a coach walk me through it.

At Live the More, we highly recommend Leap Forward Coaching–they’re just the best!

THIRD, pray. Navigating ambiguity, especially after an unwanted or difficult change, is an opportunity to increase your DEPENDANCE upon God.

Get a journal, write down your needs and prayers, and track how the Lord is answering those petitions. Though change can be uncomfortable, it’s also a chance to watch how the Lord cares for you and responds to our prayers in our greatest time of need.

An unwanted or difficult vocational change may feel like a step backwards or a dip in your trajectory. But life is full of dips and it only means you’re still alive! Picture this: your life is like an EKG chart–the ups and downs mean you’re heart is still beating. If you only had ups, downs, or there was no movement at all (i.e., you flatline), that would be a big problem! Embrace the ambiguity of the change you’re facing and make the most of it, because I promise you will strengthen your connection with God, yourself, and your purpose.